Saturday, October 27, 2007
Aha - Crying in the rainI'll never let you see
The way my broken heart is hurting me
I've got my pride and I know how to hide
All the sorrow and pain
I'll do my crying in the rain
If I wait for cloudy skies
You won't know the rain from the tears in my eyes
You'll never know that I still love you
So though the heartaches remain
I'll do my crying in the rain
Raindrops falling from heaven
Will never wash away my misery
But since we're not together
I'll wait for stormy weather
To hide these tears I hope you'll never see
Someday when my crying's done
I'm gonna wear a smile and walk in the sun
I may be a fool
But till then, darling, you'll never see me complain
I'll do my crying in the rain
I'll do my crying in the rain
I'll do my crying in the rain
I'll do my crying in the rain
this is an old song.there is another version of this song by a lady. its much more mellow and sounds nicer but i cant find it :( anyways i kinda like this song although it gets me emo. well, dts y i dont always listen to it. dere was once i was in the car, this song was playing at it was raining very heavily, u have no idea how emo i got T.T haha. im an emotional wreck :)
tag replies:
shuyee, ahh yes the freedom. i tink the charmed episode where phoebe became a mermaid portrays alot on how fun it is to be a mermaid :) if onlyy... haha
dul, i see u finally got ur monkey but nothing beats the real thing :) sure its more difficult but it makes u feel reli good later when u see how big its grown. anyways, im not that good with keeping everything in. patience is not one of my best qualities but i try and most of the time i break down and become some depressed slob which is bad.BIG TIME. haha
becky, hello HCSC ! :) sometimes i tink that way too but the hurt gets to me reli quickly and my opinions fluctuate. good luck with ur O's :D
alex, if rage everytime something minor happens the world u hav already come to its end. haha. lion king is sad especially the part where his dad died :'(
DEE, hello. i used to watch mulan all the time. havent watched it in ages. i feel like watching it. haha. mushu is so funny.
with love,
yeeling
GODBLESS.
i can't love another if my heart just so far away
7:17 PM
Friday, October 26, 2007
i was reading some blogs and going through some links when i stumbled onto stephen's blog ( the pastor who comes to our school for mid week service) it was the first time i've been in his blog and i found something he wrote interesting. it was something i've always wondered about. something i've always questioned and unfortunately something i find to be very true.1 John 4:7-16 verse 9&10. "This is how God showed his love amoung us:He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him. This is love: not that we love God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." "Sometimes love sure hurts!" The mother and father were expressing the difficulties and heartaches of guiding their children through their teen years. "Maybe if we didn't love them quite so much it wouldn't be so hard," the man added. Even though love brings pain and sorrow what would life be without it? In his book The Four loves, C.S. Lewis wrote: "To love all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you mustgive your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully around hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness... The only place outside heaven you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers ... of love is hell." To love is to take risks, to expose our hearts. Sometimes it hurts! It hurt Jesus Christ, but He kept on loving - even at the cost of His life. And He asked us to "love one another as I have loved you" (John 1:12) Truly loving that spouse, that teenager, that neighbour, that colleague is Christlike, and its better than locking your heart in the coffin of self-centredness.
why does love have to hurt? why isit the person who you care for the most can also hurt u the most? isn't caring for someone being kind? den y is our kindness being repayed with hurt, pain? y cant love be painless? most importantly why do we crave so much for love even when we know we will get hurt? why isit worth it? we all try to learn from our mistakes. but when we made a mistake to love someone why do we not learn not to love again. instead once love come knocking on our door, once again we invite it in with open arms enjoy the goodness and thrills of it then regret later when we get hurt.
i've told myself once too many times after every failed relationship or wat so ever that hurt that i will not love again.but once love is on my door step or rather lust or infatuation. i let it in. sure ill hesitate a lil give myself some reason to not give in to this sort of naive situation but after sometime i still give in.
i love watching romantic movies and fairy tales & as a little girl i would always hoped that one day i cud end up like in the movies. i want a fairytale. i want a knight in shining armor preferably on a white horse to sweep me off my feet :D okay, i noe im dreaming :( anyways. in real life, i guess that just not gona happen. lifes not a fairy tale.unfortunately :( ( if i cud be in a disney movie i want to be little mermaid :D swimming in the deep blue ocean ,lets just hope the ocean isnt that cold, with the fishys and seeing the fascinating things human on earth dont get to see ans most of all sit on a rock combing my hair watching the pretty pretty sunsets :D )
love, its such a strong word, such a strong feeling. it can make u feel like floating and also make u feel like dieing. but to come to tink of it positively maybe it teaches u tings. maybe god has a plan and the best way to teach us is to make us feel it. i reli dont know but this is how i tink of it if i were to be optimistic.
ohh well, enough ranting. i have the rainbow in colour of my nails :) i feel happy today and hopefully it wud be the same tomoro :D
goodnitee
with love,
yeeling
godbless.
please don't go crazy if i tell you the truth cuz im going crazy keeping it from youu.
6:21 PM
Thursday, October 25, 2007
someone just had his shower cause he smelled reli reli bad. and i mean really bad :Sthe goblin.
mr.innocent
PICTURE OF THE DAYmeet the new Rose Dawson from Titanic.
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the kitty version of when she was lying on the couch having her picture being drawn.
my sassy kitty :) i likeei'm off.
with love,
yeeling
GODBLESS
let the rain fall down.
with love,
yeeling
GODBLESS
let the rain fall down.
3:08 PM
Sunday, October 21, 2007
i am very very addicted to the song boys like girls - thunder.i know my eyes are supposed to be glued to my chmeistry book rite now im i'm very very distracted and exams r tomorrow. so soon. 2 weeks of horror. u know the saying tomoro never comes when we say we will study tomoro? why cant that be the same for exams. -.-' the joy.
i brought pebbles to the vet on thursday and guess wat SHE IS A BOY. and all this time i've been calling him a girl! shawn said i shud consider changing his name but pebbles is okay for a guy too rite? i noe in the flinstones pebbles is a girl but some girls r called alex so y cant a male be called pebbles rite?
ooh. pebbles is 1 month + old now and he can pee on his own. but the horror is he doesnt noe to pee in the rite place. -.-' i got him litter and instead of doing his business dere he sleeps in it -.-''''
and pees on his cloth which is suppose to be where he sleeps. i hafta clean his cloth like 5 times a week coz he does dt. it annoys me. i complain to my mom and she says he doesnt noe any better coz he is a baby. hmm. she is defending him. -.-'
anyways, i like pebbles when he is showering. he just sits dere and let me wash him. i like! den if he is in a comfy area he sleeps while im hair drying him. few minutes a go i gave him a shower and he was hair dried on my bed.
currently sleeping with my rabbit.
heard my shutter sounds and peeked.
ZZZZzzzzzzzzz... i like it better when he is sleeping. peace and quite.
poser.
he accompanies me whenever i TRY to study.
i went to soonlee jus now and while mom was grocery shopping got my pearl milk tea. :) they gave me alot of pearls. i was overjoyed.den when i was about to leave i went down one more time to get another cup for my brother. this time mom came along and look at how much pearls dey gave. no extra charge. woahh~ i felt so man yi (satisfied) heheheeee.. so happy.
im taking offfff.. good luck ya'll. happy studying. dont stress study smart.
lots of love & best of luck,
yeeling :)
godbless.
U'LL ALWAYS BE MY THUNDER SO BRING ON THE RAIN <3
STRIKE ME NOW WITH LIGHTING SO I CAN FEEL YOUU IN MY VEINS.
BRING ON THE PAIN.
holding onto something and i dont know why.
12:06 PM
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
i was going through some old photos and gosh i miss 3B soo much! most of all i miss all the people in. being in 4S2 is fun, don't get me wrong but i've been in the same class with the same people for 9 years? and its just different . i stayed back with fah, ben, shawn & bel and i was the only one in 4S2 :( i walked pass 4S1 yesterday and they were having an ex-3B group chat. i only looked in for awhile. i'm missing out alot in their lives and the feeling s**ks. MY FELLOW EX-3BS. I MISS YOU! I MISS BEING IN THE SAME CLASS AS YOU GUYS :(
the 2nd last day of our form 3 year. classmates since primary 1 till form 3 :')
a collage for english class.
teacher's day in form 2. bartenders- khair & shawn.
whheeeee~
poor mateen got sunburned after this. dey even made boobs for him. HAHA. i hav no idea where that photo went. guys!
with love,
yeeling
godbless.
how can i feel something i don't believe in.
5:10 PM
Saturday, October 6, 2007
When you drop a glass or plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound.But, as for your heart,when that breaks, it's completely silent.
You would think as it's so important it would makes the loudest noise in the whole world, or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell. But it's silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain.
If there is a noise, it's internal. It screams and no one can hear it but you. It screams so loud your ears ring and your head aches . It thrashes around in your chest like a great white shark caught in the sea; it roars like a mother bear whose cub has been taken. That's what it looks like, a thrashing, panicking, trapped great big beast, roaring like a prisoner to it's own emotions. But that's the thing about love - no one is untouchable.It's as wild as that, as raw as an open flesh wound exposed to salty sea water, but when it actually breaks, it's silent. You're just screaming on the inside and no one can hear it.
- if you could see me now by Cecelia Ahern
2:49 PM
Friday, October 5, 2007
her ears are already standing up and she is very sociable. :D she loves cuddling and welcomes anyone who wants to hold her.
she peed on me -.-'' twice, thrice today. isn't she suppose to be able to control? well, at least i don't have to keep wiping her butt.
i cut her claws yesterday cause it was getting too sharp and she was scratching herself so i had to do it though it was scary. i wouldn't want to have an accident.
she's my Pebbles chua porkkie and i love her ;)
11:53 AM
Thursday, October 4, 2007
i dropped my phone today! i put it on my lap and it dropped when i got out of the car! so heart breaking the damage is pretty bad. its DAINTED! :( haiz.. and and i got blisters too! so painful.u see. i haven gotten the chance to play bball lately and therefore i jumped at the chance eventhough i was wearing baju kurung . -.-' the tiles were like hot hot hot. first time i got blisterss.
then just now i went to supa save walking like some retard trying to catch up with her walking speed. she walks fast okay its her normal speed which i inherited which i pass on to jie. so whenever u see me and jie walking around we'd be like vrooooooommm... haha.. okay im exaggerating a lil but yea.
i miss going out wit the cousin! i haven gone out with her in weeks. and it feels like eternity. everytime we plan to do something it turns out one of us wud have some other thing to do. :( so sesak man. i have soooo many things to catch up on her with and i miss all the times she wud come into my room and we wud play dress up. ITS FUN OKAY. we'll go raiding my closet and looking into my full length mirror( which i broker a few weeks ago :S but no worries i got it replaced) .
the blisters are killing me. i shall go play with pebbles now. she's getting cuter by the second & so clingi :S gahh..
takecare & godbless
because u're all i want. u're all i see. nothing else matters. it's just you and me.
9:31 PM
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
breaking up with your boyfriends hurts.Waiting for him hurts.
Loving someone who doesn't love you back hurts.
It hurts like HORRIFYINGLY CRAZY HORRIBLE
But there is something else which hurts maybe even more, as much or close to that. & this hurt's caused by friends. Friends who you trusted,cared for, friends who you thought you knew for real.i have so much to say i just can't seem to express it out.
it's really disappointing how you believe in someone and they let you down. how you ignore their flaws believing dey wud change. how wud turn a deaf ear to words that shudnt have been said just because you thought you knew him/her. how you trusted him/her to be there for you - thought dey'd be there for you.
dese days, being betrayed by a friend seems to be like such a common thing. the most unexpected happen.it hits you hard and when you fall you don't even get a soft landing.
People change - some for the better and some for the worst. change is good. i like change SOMETIMES. but it can be a horrible thing. when someone, a friend, a close friend, changes for the worse. years of friendship, fun times, secrets just seem to be thrown away. wud seem like it never happened. would mean nothing. and you would'nt even recognise each other anymore.
things are not what it seems. PEOPLE are not what they seem & it's really hard to find your true friend.
and therefore i would like to dedicate this post to Bun Lien Fah.
my TRUE FRIEND.
she's been close to me since primary 5. we use to having morning walks and talk about our problems or share stuffs. walking back and forth until the school bell rang. i miss those times. we've had ALOT of ups and downs. we fought alot. had many disagreements, differences. but all of them just seemed to make our friendship stronger.
She's like a sister to me and i treasure all the moments i've had with her. we don't go out together much, have any sleep overs, stay up until 3 am to just talk or even attend each other's birthdays or even score 100 in her true friend test. But we share a special bond and this bond is much more than just hanging out or having fun. Our friendship is more than fun and ill never trade it for anything.she's the only person who knows me foe me and whom i tell EVERYTHING to without fear of her betrayal.
BUN LIEN FAH! I LOVE YOU BABES.
godbless.
what hurts the most,
is being to close to having so much to say
and watching you walk away
7:29 PM
Monday, October 1, 2007
i was in centerpoint jus now grocery shopping with a dilly bar in my hand. yes, im a fat glutton but i dont care :) anyways i walked past this kid and his expression was priceless! he saw my ice cream and went ' WOAHH~' literally said it out. HAHA. i was so amused. he told his sister of it and continued to stare at my ice cream. even when his parents went to the other section, fully aware of it he still stood there looking at my ice cream. i tink it was very funny. it was like a kid jus saw santa claus :) heeee~today is a happy day and i shall keep it that way. don't go emo on me now yeeling.FOCUS! FOCUS!
:D :D
takecare&godbless
i shall fake a smile so he will not see,
all the hurt buried inside of me.
i shall laugh so he won't see,
all dose tears dt run down my cheeks.
i shall run far far away,
Forgetting this hopeless love carved that carved its home in me.
7:23 PM